Being a wife adorned in Christ

Part 2 of being attractive to your husband is here! If you didn’t catch part 1, be sure to check it out: here!

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OK, so we know that ONLY being physically attractive isn’t enough to sustain any marriage. Looking good is ½ the battle, but we are not done yet.

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord she shall be praised.” –Proverbs 31:30 NKJV

Charm is a flaky thing and it doesn’t determine a heart for the Lord and outer beauty as we all know, fades over time. We can do all that we can to look good on the outside, but what does it matter if we are nasty and gross on the inside?

We will be irresistible to our men when we are not only beautiful on the outside but on the inside too (There is a whole series on this over on The Lightingale Podcast highlighting 3 women from the Bible! Go back to listen to episode #3: Maximizing beauty + minimizing character)

I love what Lori Alexander (who is 60 years old and teaches Biblical womanhood) of TheTransformedwife.com says on her blog post: Men prefer attractive wives:

“Men will have a variety of things that attract them to their wives but I remember hearing that the number one thing that men find most attractive in women is their cheerfulness. It’s probably the one thing that women find the hardest to keep since they are easily led by their emotions and feelings. I sure was when I was younger but not anymore! Thankfully, the Lord kicked it out of me when I was able to see how ugly and wrong it was. Plus, being in the word of God daily helps me to continually renew my mind with truth. Being thankful and continually taking every thought captive to the obedience of the Lord Jesus are vital to remaining joyful.

One woman [shared with me] that her demeanor and attitude is what attracts her husband no matter what she looks like. If she is cheerful and laughing, he is attracted to her even if she is in her pajamas but if she is sour and grumpy, she is not attractive to him at all.

Ask your husband what makes you attractive to him then ask him what makes you unattractive to him… Remember, this is the man that you promised to be committed until death do you part and you were created to be his help meet. Desire to stay attractive to him, even in your old age.  Joyfulness goes a LONG way even when you have gray hair, age spots, and wrinkles!”

“Ask your husband what makes you attractive to him then ask him what makes you unattractive to him…” Are we willing to ask our husband’s these questions? Are we willing to die to how we feel and take our men’s advice? This is HARD, I am not always wanting to hear Tyson on this one. I don’t know about anyone else, but, it literally feels like a death, sometimes. I pridefully think I am just fine doing things my way. I don’t want to hear any improvements, BUT when I humble myself, I see that taking in what he says helps me be a better wife to him.

Doesn’t this remind you of something? It reminds me of the relationship Christ has to the church. That’s what our marriages are supposed to reflect, we as wives represent the church/the bride of Christ and our husbands represent Christ. Just like the church is to be yielding to the direction of Jesus (because He is submitted to God) we should be yielding to the direction of our husbands (as they are submitted to God.)

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” -Ephesians 5:22—24 NKJV

“But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” -1 Corinthians 11:3 NKJV

Another thing Lori talked about in the excerpt above is how hard it is to be cheerful when we are easily led astray by our emotions. OOF! Pinned there. How many of us allow our emotions to control how we treat our husbands? I have fallen in the emotional trap before. I’m ashamed to count the amount of times I have sinned against God and my husband from that place. It didn’t matter how beautiful I looked, if I was being guided by my flesh, I was truly hideous that day. (Proverbs 11:22) The ONLY way we can get up from these moments is to repent and turn away from these ways of acting and ask God to help us make better decisions.

God wouldn’t put these things in His Word as commands and expect us to figure it out on our own, His precious Holy Spirit is within each believer of Jesus Christ to help us and strengthen us to walk this Word out. Step by step. Choice by choice. He will adorn us with an internal beauty that will knock our husbands right off their feet.

Galatians 5:22-23 says this:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

Making the effort to look beautiful on the outside and then being intentional about spending time with Jesus, praying, studying God’s Word and allowing Him to make you beautiful on the inside, too? Honey, you will be irresistible to that man!

There is nothing more beautiful than a loving wife, a joyful wife, a patient wife, a kind wife, a wife full of goodness, a faithful wife, a gentle wife, and a self-controlled wife. When we are connected to Jesus, He will help us to thrive in these areas. We have access ladies, we have access to God because of what Jesus did for us on Calvary. When we repent of our sins and come under the Lordship of Jesus, we no longer are doing it alone. We have the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit who will guide us and strengthen us to do what the Bible says to do. (2 Peter 1:3) We won’t get it right always but we can trust that God is faithful and will cultivate these things in us.

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” -1 Peter 3:1-6 NKJV (bold text added)

We will be amazed at how your marriage will transform when we take our eyes off of trying to control our husband’s every move and start working on us, both on the inside and outside.

What are some of your takeaways? Anything to add? Drop it below in the comments!

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