Happy Valentine’s Day! Since I’m married, I’m all like, “YAYYYY!” But if you are single, you may be feeling the sting of being alone.
Funny story: before I got married, when I was a freshmen in college my friend and I were single. I laugh to myself because around that time we had a great name for Valentine’s Day, we called it, “Single Awareness Day.” Everyone was with someone and we were not.
But honestly, February 14 is going to come and go. And it will be alright. What I really want to talk about is are you content being single? If the answer is “no,” why not?
If you are struggling with being single and waiting, I can understand that completely. There was a time that I just didn't wait well.
Before my husband, there were plenty of counterfeits that came around and honestly, it was draining. I knew the type of man God would bring my way, so I stopped trying to fit circles in square pegs.
About a year before Tyson and I started dating, I made the decision to embrace being single all the way. I wanted to experience God in a more intimate way before I got married and I'm so glad I made that choice. Doing that helped me so much before and when my hubby came along.
This is not a end-all be-all list, but these things helped me — I pray they help you:
1. Stop waiting
I don't say this to encourage anyone to chase after any man. But what I am saying is we have to get up in our hearts and press after Jesus. Listen to him and allow Him to show you what to pursue. Since God tells us in Proverbs 18:22, "He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord," this means we as women are not supposed to be finding anybody. When you redirect your energy from, "finding a man," and dedicate energy to finding your purpose in Christ, you will be so much more productive and prepared when your husband does find you. Staying in step with God, rather than the culture of the world will ensure we are in position for the things we desire Him to bring into our lives.
2. Explore your passion
God created you passionately so know that He has placed an intentional passion within you. With His leading, now is the time to save up and travel to the country you've always wanted to visit. Now is the time to start blogging, go road tripping with your girlfriends, start a Bible study, learn a new instrument, start your business or even go back to school. You don't have to wait until you get married to start living life. Marriage just merges you and your man's life together. Your future husband will want you to be living a full life and not twiddling your thumbs when he finds you.
3. Learn to love you
I got married when I was 26. What if I'd waited until then to know what it felt like to be loved? I would have been miserable and a hot mess. We have to learn how to love ourselves. All of our great and not so great parts. We can only love ourselves properly, when we allow Jesus to love us completely. In order to do that, we have to just stop. Stop and allow our hearts to rest, not allowing a competitive spirit to rule our decision making. Your whole squad could be getting married, but that shouldn't move you. Your story is your story. No one else's. Rest in Jesus and allow Him to heal you from scars you can't even see.
4. Trust God as you pray & prepare
If you desire to be married, how often do you pray about it? How prepared are you? About 4 years before I got married, a friend and I prayed for our future husbands every day for 30 days. We prayed for his character, his love for us, his stability, all sorts of things. I prayed these prayers but I wasn't thinking God was going to move on them. Truthfully, I didn't prepare in anticipation of what I asked for. Those years flew by and then BAM! Tyson came into my life. I was like a deer in headlights in my heart. The thing I'd asked Jesus for was coming to pass. I didn’t expect God to do it for me. But my Father showed me right then and there that I have to know that I'm loved by Him. So loved that He pays attention to my heart and what I ask Him for. So even when I told the Lord, "I wasn't ready," God reassured me, "I'll get you ready." And that He did.
God sees you and knows where you are. I heard someone say something like this, “even if you are on a desert island, God will make sure your husband finds you, because He always knows where you are.”
But until then, enjoy Jesus during your season of singleness. Don’t stress out about what you don’t have that you miss out on what you do have. No more trying to force circles in square pegs, amen?
Have fun today! Plan a Galentine’s movie and popcorn night or take yourself out to dinner! Win-Win!
Did this post bless you? What part? Talk to me and drop a comment below!
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Love you girls!
Until next time,